Things Never Change…Until They Do

A lesson learned on the business-as-personal-growth path

Where were you the day the panty-hose died?

They used to be A Thing. The Thing, really, that every working woman had to manage no matter what the day ahead held. Panty hose had to match the outfit. They had to be snag- and run-free. You had to move in a certain way with some amount of constant awareness going toward remaining snag- and run-free. And, they were EXPENSIVE. Leggs (with the egg) and Hanes banked on their indispensability. I could bargain-shop every other aspect of my professional wardrobe, but not panty-hose. And they were not optional. You never saw someone NOT wear panty hose.

Until one day in the spring of 2008. My business partner and I were in meeting with one of our clients: an organization of young, male, corporate presidents. An assistant walked in to deliver something, and all eyes surreptitiously went to her bare legs, including ours. Something major shifted in the room. Tight lips held back words not wanting to be spoken in mixed company, but it was there. Palpable. Later, standing at our cars in the parking lot, my partner and I reviewed that what-the-hell moment. She remembered seeing a bare-legged woman at a meeting the week before, but thought it an ill-mannered anomaly. Now, the dots connected in crystal clarity, pointing to a new direction. Yay, we thought, summer is coming. Who needs hot, restrictive panty-hose.

Summer came and went and came again, but panty-hose never returned.

On another pivotal day, this one in October 2017, I watched with disbelief as #MeToo caught fire. I thought: those silly Millennials, they’re going to need to toughen up. Like the rest of us, they’ll have to learn to deal with these things in the business world.

Case in point: I recalled my greatest business heartbreak up until then—and still—when a client I was attached to, an organization with whom I had deep history and close friendships, betrayed me. My contract was up for renewal. A subcommittee of three formed to review and recommend changes. Thinking I was collaborating with friends, I was very forthcoming with proprietary information about my processes and fee calculations. I started to get a bad feeling in my gut, though, followed by a sleepless night watching Nick-at-Nite become Nick-at-Morning. When the sun came up, I knew: I had been had. Sure enough, they awarded the contract to one of the committee members’ children.

Later, watching #MeToo unfold, I suddenly saw things differently. Each of the three people on that committee had previously made suggestive comments about my body, touched me inappropriately, and/or even forced a kiss on me. Although I had managed those aggressions at the time, all in the normal and complicated course of being a woman in business, as I saw it then, the bill came due when they had power over me, and they exacted payment.

I also saw the Millennials are right! Such behaviors are an unacceptable violation of the most primary nature. My eyes opened to a wave of fresh possibilities as this generation entering the workplace had no tolerance for the violation of basic human rights like safety and dignity.

This story isn’t a story to prepare you for harassment and sexual discrimination. No, quite the opposite.

This story shows you what an effective cauldron for change the business world is. Deeply-rooted norms can change in an instant. Since there are many deeply rooted norms that still need to change, this is a story of hope.

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Celebrating 25 years of business as a personal growth path, I am remembering and sharing my greatest lessons learned. See what I’m up to now at www.LizGarrett.com