Adjusting Expectations

“What we expect, we experience,” all the spiritual traditions say. But what, then, explains bad service at an expensive, fancy restaurant, where you go expecting the best? Or not getting the promotion/client/job when we were clearly the most qualified? And what about divorce?… certainly not expected in that “I Do” moment. And I’ve been “expecting” an influx of money for some time now …haven’t you? I mean, really, envisioning really, really, really hard that lots of dollars are flowing my way. Still, nada.

It’s a question we hardly dare to ask:  If “What we expect, we experience” is true, what if we don’t like what we’re experiencing?  There can only be two answers:

1. What we expect, we experience is not true, or
2. We are experiencing what we were expecting.  Ouch.

We have no control over #1.  Universal Laws are above our knowing. We can choose to believe or not.  Since assuming “what we expect, we experience” is true is empowering, and assuming it isn’t true would make me a victim, I choose to assume it is true.

That means, our expectations are a factor in whatever is or isn’t happening.  If we don’t like our experience, we can adjust our expectations. Expectations are tricky.  Let’s look closely at their different degrees, levels and layers.

Degrees of Expectation

If you could put a measuring device on your expectations, only the ones pegging the scale would register. That needle must be pushed all the way to the right by the full force of BELIEF.  Any expectation that does not arise from that deepest, truest place of core belief is lost in tepid mediocrity. You cannot talk yourself into a belief; it is a thing of the marrow, not of the mind.

Degrees of expectation may be a factor when we have talked ourselves into a desire because it is “right,” or we “should,” or someone else wants it.  Getting clear on your motivation—your Why–will turn up the heat on your expectation.

Levels of Expectation

When I was a child, I believed touching the windshield made the wipers turn on. As much as I wanted to hold onto this belief, eventually I had to recognize it was only true when my parents were in the driver’s seat.  Belief is not enough. Our expectations must be in alignment with Universal Law.  Eventually, we must release childish expectations and take responsibility for learning how things really work.

Levels of expectation require a clear-headed assessment of skills, resources and willingness to commit action to the goal.  The Universe delivers whatever you are 100% committed to.

Layers of Expectation

If, beneath my belief that restaurant staff should provide good service, there is a deeper belief that I am just a trailer–park-girl-dun-good and I don’t really deserve any of this (often the case for me), it is my deeper, subconscious expectation that is answered. It is always the deeper expectation that rules, no matter how well-reasoned or passionately-defended the conscious expectation, so dig deep for the truth.

Layers of Expectation can be uncovered by identifying trends and repeating patterns in your life.  Odds are, they have in common a deep belief of unworthiness.  Go there.

If you don’t like what you are experiencing, ask yourself:

• What are your real expectations?
• Are your expectations fueled by empowering core beliefs?
• Are your expectations in alignment with Universal Law?
• Are you aware of–and honoring–your deepest truths?

When expectations don’t work out, don’t be disappointed. View it is a kind invitation to deepen your understanding of yourself and your true power.